Stop Requested

When it's chily night in October and you've been out for an evening of drinks an jazz, you usually start measuring your options. What mode of transportation will put me in my bed the quickest?

On a recent evening, I stood on the corner of 14th and U trying to hail a cab. I had ridden my bike down the hill and locked it securely, sure that I wouldn't be in any mood to ride it back up after a glass of wine (alright three). As I tried to find a taxi, I thought, here we are, in the nation's capital and the second largest cab fleet in the country, and apparently, nobody was available.

Moments later a Metro bus appeared. I've taken Metrobus many times and they never seem to arrive when you most need them. So it was fitting that one should appear when I wasn't even looking for it.

As I stepped onto the bus I asked the driver, "Going up the hill? To 14th and Euclid?"

His reply caught me off guard, "You know you could walk."

What was this? Judgment? From a WMATA bus driver? I thought it odd, that he would a. be encouraging people NOT to take the bus and b. take it upon himself to inform me of my options. I'm all about choice, but this was above and beyond the call.

My response was not nearly as witty and bold as you might imagine. I shrugged,guiltily "Yeah, I know. I just didn't feel like it."

As I made my way to my seat I thought, "You're right. I could walk those 5 blocks up the hill to my house. I actually DO walk them often. But in a city where the crime rate has increased 40% in five months, I decided it best not to. I realied then- I might be lazy. But I'm not stupid. 1.35 is a small price to pay for a safe ride up the hill. And I'm even willing to endure the judgment. Just this once...

Overheard in DC

Middle-aged woman getting smoothie at Health Bar: I'm one wild grandma! The reason we have low crime in Texas is we have a concealed weapons law. Concealed weapons and open containers!

And You Thought Young Female Hill Staffers Were the Worst

Just when you thought you couldn't find a young white girl that was any worse than the squawky staffers from Capitol Hill that have become a staple of life in the Capital City, comes this article from ABC News. The story details young twins, Lamb and Lynx. Innocuous sounding, but rather terrifying. This Mary-Kate and Ashleyesque duo entertain their fans with songs of, white else? White Power. Suffice it to say that these girls scare me. Read More>>

From The Really Bad Taste File

The Titanic Slide?


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More Foot Talk

A photograph really can speak a thousand words. And many of the photographs that I have posted on this site have stimulated more conversation than I anticipated. This was the case with the image I featured yesterday of a fellow coffeehouse patron's shoeless feet on the table. Some readers were very vocal in their reactions.

Most interestingly, was a conversation that this sparked with a friend who had read the story. While discussing the picture, "Clark's" reaction was visceral. "I hate feet!" He told me. "I can't even look at them if they don't have socks on." I thought this interesting, though not completely odd. However, Clark went on to reveal, "Feet gross me out. If I have sex with someone, the socks have to stay on." My jaw dropped. "What?" I couldn't contain my puzzlement. "That's right, the socks have to stay on." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. As we delved into his neurosis, I found that Clark found it impossible to even have sex with someone without socks on. If a new bed partner even dared to begin to remove his socks, he was instructed to leave them on or leave the bedroom. I wondered to myself what I would think if I was the other person faced with this choice? Come to think of it, I think I would leave. Quickly. But I would take my socks off before I left. Just because.

Pet Peeve #325 - Footloose and Fancy Free

This photo was snapped last night as I sat at Caribou Coffee sipping a double espresso and watching the Bear Knitting Bee. It exemplifies one my biggest pet peeves. What possesses people to take their shoes off in public places? Why must others be subjected to seeing your stockinged or even bare feet?

The offender in this picture was sitting on the sofa 2 feet away from me and had removed his shoes and placed proceeded to use the coffee table as an ottoman. File this under "People who feel WAY too at home in a coffee house."

Bear Necessities

Last night I found myself in the middle of a very strange setting. I had just finished happy hour drinks with a co-worker and decided to stop into Caribou coffee for a quick espresso and a few pages of the book I'm currently reading.

As I stirred my doppio and headed towards the back of the room to find a seat I looked up to see something I have never seen in my life. I had stumbled full-on into a knitting bee in the middle of Washington DC. What adds the really bizarre part to this image is that the large table was surrounded by 10 rather portly, older, hairy men. In other words....bears. Ten old bears sitting among piles of yarn balls of varying colors.

I took my seat and couldn't help but stair. It was one of the most comical things I have ever seen. Here were men in their 40's and 50's sitting, many with legs cross peering over their glasses, yarn draped in laps, with needles in hand knitting, gossiping and sharing techniques. "My socks aren't working out right. Look how fat the ankles are!" "Those are Cankles!" "Well, give them to me, cause mine are fat!" "I'll be putting the pattern for my sweater on the internet tomorrow"

And on it went. I think I'll be dropping back in to Caribou next week to see if I can resume my fly on the wall status. This time with a camera.

Bras are for Breasts

Driving back from the beach this weekend, I passed several RV's with those big black 'bras' on the front that you see on so many recreational vehicles, as well as cars and trucks. Though I've seen them many times, it suddenly occurred to me how odd of an invention these seemed. I turned to DB, who was navigating through the obstacle course that is the road back to DC, and said 'What is it with these bras on cars? So the bugs smash on the material instead of the paint, but you still have smashed bugs on the front of your vehicle."

True to form, DB replied with a thought that took us further down this rabbit hole, "What is more bizarre is that they are even CALLED bras', he posited. 'I mean, they don't hold anything in.' Hmmmm...I thought about this for a moment. This was even more of a bizarre concept. When I thoroughly considered the issue, the two had nothing to do with each other whatsoever.

It's true that the 'bra' on a vehicle doesn't hold anything in. And it doesn't support anything. It actually has nothing in common with the clothing item that it is named after. To reverse this line of thought, the bra that is worn by women doesn't actually protect the breasts from anything. It isn't to keep bugs from flying into your tits. I can definitely report that I have never heard a woman say, 'Wow, I am moving so fast right now that bugs are smashing on my nipples.'

No, this is definitely one invention that has been completely mis-named.

Are We Transparent or What?

In an interesting turn of events this evening, authorities revealed a specific terror threat against the New York Subway. The terror alert has been raised for the subway system in New York and we are assured that every measure is being taken to assure security.

In other news, President Bush today gave a major speech at the Reagan building in Washington, DC, in which he clear depicted the importance of the war in Iraq in destroying terror. It appears the Bush administration clearly sees the erosion of support for the war in Iraq and is seeking to bolster their standing in the ratings by again linking terrorism and Americans' safety to Iraq.

Coincidentally, on the very day of President Bush's ground-breaking, stay-the-course speech, the credible evidence of the threat to New York's subway system poured into Intelligence headquarters. Amazingly, it seems that the information that tipped off officials was related to a raid on an Al-Qaeda safehouse in Iraq.

Does anybody see where I'm going with this? Where is the press? Covering Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey?

Black and White and Read All Over

Jay Rosen, media maven, Journalism professor at NYU, and blog-master has knighted the Washington Post as the "Our great national newspaper now." According to Rosen, steps taken by the Post in the last year have launched it ahead of the New York Times in scope and relevancy.

Agreed, the NYT has had some credibility issues recently with fraudulent stories and appearing as a lapdog of the Bush regime in the lead-up to the Iraq War. And it can be said that the Post is the leading place to turn when you need your fix of politics. But to me, the rest of the paper is just a bit boring. Have you seen the 'Style' Section? And I'm guessing that Mr. Rosen has never put down section A and turned to the 'Food' section. If he did, he would find reviews of Subway sandwich shops and recipes for spinach dip instead of the in-depth and interesting articles carried in the Times' Food section where dining out doesn't mean Chili's.

One other observation I would make is that the Post seems to have lost it's knack for playing government watchdog. Where are the hard-hitting stories taking on and calling out the obvious misteps and Machiavellian moves of our lawmakers. Where are Woodward and Bernstein?

And contrary to the inevitable comments that I am 'Hating on DC', I believe this is a fair comparison of the two publications.

Weigh in: What's your call? Best Paper- The Times? Or the Post?

Nothing's Scarier Than a Clown

We all know how clowns can border on funny and scary. There is a fine line between the two for many of us. Claribell-Funny. Really Funny. John-Wayne Gacy- Not so funny. No, not at all.

This picture sums up the creepy nature of clowns and how the addition of a simple thing such as an S&M-type cage can change the whole context. I snapped this picture with my camera phone when visiting my friend in Wilmington, North Carolina. To me, it's reminiscent of the Penn's Woods Baby I photographed this summer which left many unsettled.

Apparently, my friend's nieces found the idea of caging clowns 'fun', because this is exactly what they did. Or perhaps they just found the whole idea of clowns scary, as many do, and this was the only way they could have him in the same room.

Let My People Pass

I really want to know...what is it with these double strollers that are so prevalent these days? It used to be that these monster contraptions were reserved for cul-de-sacs and suburban malls. But increasingly I am seeing more and more of them in stores and restaurants in the city.

Of the two types of these strollers, the one that really stirs my ire is the Doublewide. You may have seen these. In this configuration, the children sit side-by-side rather than one in front of each other. It really is the latest thing is arrogance since there are very few spaces in the city built to accommodate one of these without sending furniture and people flying.

This weekend I had several experiences with the Doublewide. None infuriated me more, however, than on a visit to Heller's bakery in Mount Pleasant. As I made my way to the front door, eager to grab a croissant and coffee for a Sunday morning drive out of the city, I was blocked by a woman pushing a Doublewide. She coasted slowly towards the door with two other women and her two children (a baby and what appeared to be a four-year old) in the stroller. I tried to maneuver around here and barely made it in the door when her friends in front of me stopped to inquire whether she was in the mood for caf or decaf coffee. Apparently she had made the decision to stay outside with the Doublewide. As she stood and considered her options and the two friends beamed out waiting for her decision, I grew increasingly impatient (as I am known to do.) None of these women seemed to be aware that there was anyone else remotely near them. I pushed past the two women with a polite but poignant 'pardon me.' and made my way to the counter only to place my order and see Mrs. Double wide pushing her stroller into the already packed bakery. Apparently the decision over her coffee was simply too puzzling to be made quickly.

As I turned and tried to make my way out with my breakfast, I realized I was trapped. The stroller actually blocked the entire area near the counter. She had stopped on the way and asked people to move their chairs so that she could pass. The patrons were all forced to wait for her to window shop along the case and move before we could get by.

Frustrating. What really is puzzling about these strollers is that they usually involve one child who is WAY too old to be sitting in them. I had to suppress the urge to tap this woman and say 'if he's old enough to chew steak, he can walk.'

What kind of lazy children are we raising? And what kind of arrogance is involved in thinking that you are entitled to push your large contraption through the store pushing people out of the way and taking chairs with you? I invite business to step up to their responsibility and begin posting No-Stroller signs. After all, it's only fair to those of us who take up 1/5 of the space of these women and their children do.