Double-Wide Redux

Many of you know my disdain for the dual-child strollers that I refer to as 'double-wides.' I take issue with the fact that a. people's lack of spacing between the ages of their children should affect everyone around them, b. one of the children is usually old enough to walk and c. do the children really have to sit side-by-side? Seeing these monstrosities in the suburbs is bad enough. But when you live in the middle of a city like Washington, you realize that space is a luxury, and these contraptions take up more than any two people should be allowed.

My latest run-in with the double-wide came at my friendly neighborhood Starbucks. I stopped on the way back to work from lunch this afternoon for a quick double-espresso. There in front of me was an urban mom who had the gigantic stroller in front of her. What was really appalling is that there was one child in the stroller that looked to be about two years old. After ordering, she tried to wheel the stroller over to the area where the drinks are placed on the bar. You can imagine her frustration when she realized that no matter how many times she shoved and pushed, the shelves and racks that were placed in her way would not budge. Visibly annoyed, she removed the child (now almost in college) from the stroller and went around the other side of the shelves to settle him comfortably into a chair.

At this point I had order and also wanted to slide down the bar and wait for my drink. However, the doublewide was left blocking anyone from passing. Apparently Mrs. I-moved-into-the-city-from-Herndon-because-I-want-to-feel-the-urban-vibe, had failed to notice that there was anyone else in the Starbucks except for her.

Disgusted, I grabbed the stroller, wheeled it around and shoved it backwards. I stepped forward towards my espresso just as she came back around. "Your stroller is blocking the way. Nobody can get through!" I exclaimed. She looked at me puzzled and then continued to get her hot cocoa. Either she didn't care or didn't understand. My guess is that it was the former, although I have hope that I am wrong.

I wonder if she thought of this as she loaded her child and the double-wide into what was likely a large SUV (Escalade, Navigator, fill in the blank) and made her way the long mile up the street to her Kalorama house. I can only hope that I helped her realize that she needed to co-exist with other people.

More likely she was thinking about Starbucks' lack of courtesy in not allowing for double-wide strollers to pass unhindered through their stores. She probably thanked god as she pulled off that she only had one child, and not two, otherwise she would have to get a triple wide for the two children and her purse and possibly (gulp) move back to Herndon.