Another Suitcase in Another Hall

Just two nights after my conversation with my friend Karen about her failed relationship, I found myself once again sitting at Busboys and Poets listening a friend recount his story of his recent breakup. You can see the pattern here. In this case, "Kevin" had just broken up with his boyfriend of 10 years after much deliberation. Apparently, after all of his mulling and considering, it only took a couple glasses of wine to spill the news. Not only did he decide to take the step out of his relationship, but in grand fashion he also walked into work and quit his job of 12 years and announced that he was moving to Pennsylvania.

On this particular night, Kevin was relating to me how sure he felt of the decision about all the changes in his life. The one thing he wasn't sure of was whether ending a relationship of 10 years is the right thing to do.

"How can I be sure? Ten years is a long time", Kevin said.

Indeed it was. In his case, it was long enough to turn a slightly overweight republican from the suburbs into a thin, youthful liberal who was now unemployed and single. I marveled at this change in Kevin and thought about his decisions.

Back at home that evening I thought about the questions that this conversation had posed. How do you know when it's time to move on? In a relationship, a job, a city, when do you decide that you've given it you all? It could be argued that anything that you have committed ten years to couldn't be so bad that you couldn't try for another year. But does an extra year inevitably mean three? Or Five?

Are many people just biding time or tolerating those things in life that don't seem perfect, but could be with just a little more work? I wondered if Kevin wasn't the most heroic one for admitting that what he had seemed perfect, but wasn't working for him.

Sometimes your life comes to a fork. Often you stay with the road your on. Sometimes you take the road less traveled. And sometimes you jump off the road into the grass, put it in four wheel drive and hang on tight.