The Great White North

Word came this week from Ukraine about Svetlana, the intern that graced the halls of my office this summer. It seems that the chain-smoking, vodka-loving big-breasted blonde has secured employment with the Ukrainian Bar. Fitting, since I imagine that Svetlana has spent a good part of her life in a bar.

I can only imagine from her performance here that she had other talents that she was able to put to use, because her strengths are in neither timeliness nor knowledge. I hope that whoever she is sharing an office with has access to their own blog and can share with the world the stories of life with the old gal. If I'm being honest, I have to admit that I'm a big jealous. I've come to miss the days that Svetlana failed to work here. She provided some of the best content for my blog. Certainly my readers would agree that she was an asset.

So raise a glass of vodka, and let's all toast to Svetlana's success!

Back From an Undisclosed Location

I have been asked 4 times by readers in the last few days when I was going to update my blog. One might even say that I was scolded. It raises my spirits to know that people find what I have to say interesting. One new reader told me how much she loved my writing. She was new to my blog and I realized she was still in July or August. This reader was still enjoying the stories of Svetlana and scary baby dolls.

So I asked myself the same question: Why haven't I written lately? After considerable reflection I realized that there didn't seem to be as many funny things to write about lately. And really, all I seemed to do was bitch. It now seems, however, that people enjoy this. So I return to blogging with 2 new guidelines for myself. 1. Find the funny and interesting even if you have to dig to do it. Keep a fresh view or a new way of looking at things. And 2. Make sure to throw in a bitch every once in a while. Just for the sick bastards who like it. Remember, when you're writing for the masses, give them what they want.